Confidence

The CS has often been asked if there is a common thread about what women notice in men? What turns them on, or otherwise attracts them to a particular guy? The answers certainly vary. And yes…many women are as visual as men and like a hot body or good looks. But on average, it takes more than that for women. So if it’s a common thread that one is looking for, based on the CS’ experience, it is this: Confidence.

Perhaps, no other trait is noticed by women more then the way a man carries himself. (to digress slightly, the CS notes that based on his experience, if one is talking physical attributes outside of the usual ones, then “hands” surprisingly seem to be noticed by more women than one might think).

Whether you call it self-assurance, confidence or something else…have the right mixture of this ingredient and you will be noticed, regardless of looks (assuming reasonableness) or other physical qualities.

Now perhaps this seems simple enough. But this trait is infinitely complex and involves a subset of qualities that must exist to be effective. It’s not enough to walk tall and carry a big stick. It’s not about being a cocky prick. It’s not about bragging or the Benz in your garage. Rather, it is a subtle combination of things women will notice.

Its about:

• being confident enough to dish out digs at a woman, tease and poke fun…

• wit…and humor

• charm…

• tact, couth and knowing when and which buttons to push and which no to (but never being afraid to push those buttons when the time is right);

• Its about focusing on them rather than talking about yourself (at least at first);

• the ability to carry on a conversation, even when the woman cant;

• being bold, not meak. (want to raise a certain issue, or ask a certain question?…Be firm and straight up, don’t tip-toe, be shy or insecure);

• It’s about the right touch -- knowing when to pull the trigger and to take action, not asking or waiting for permission.

It’s all of these things and much more. These are just some that the CS believes important. Women of course have and notice certain others. But all of them will operate around these same principles and are interconnected. To identify and describe the particulars of these attributes isn’t always easy. And some naturally have them, while others struggle to learn them. But whether one is able to describe them in detail or not… you know it when you see it. And that is something for all guys to remember……because women certainly do.