The Cheating Spouse & Values

Invariably, the contents and details contained in this blog will draw the ire of many. One recent comment went some thing like this:

Why did you even get married? What is the problem with one
woman for life? You can mix it up with her. How would she feel
if she knew? How would you feel if she was doing that to you? Think about it for a while.
You probably wouldn't feel as much a person if she needed someone beside
you to satisfy her. That is what marriage says.
You and you alone can satisfy me forever.
Are you still gonna cheat even if your wife has kids? Are you so sex-driven you
can't think about anything else?


First, this is not a manifesto on how to cheat or the benefits of such. Infidelity was not invented by the Cheating Spouse nor is it encouraged. The institution of marriage is also not an issue of dispute. Marriage has many benefits and joys unrelated to sex and physical intimacy. The concept of strict monogamy in marriage, however, is another issue. This concept is a social construct re-inforced with certain religious dogma that is counter to social nature. Once again, in every aspect of our lives we are encouraged to diversify, meet new people, obtain new relationships and foster interaction, except that we must sleep with only one for our entire lives. Why?

"Whats the problem with one woman for the rest of your life?"...well you tell me. Statistics now show that upward of 70% of married men cheat. The stats I recently saw put the figure for woman at some where in the mid 50's. Obviously, there is a problem. If the stats are correct, or anywhere near correct, then cheating is almost the norm, not the other way around. Whether you say people are more selfish nowadays, that they're individualists, or that monogamy is unnatural...a problem of some sort exists. Dont blame the Cheating Spouse for being honest and writing about it.

There are also those, especially men, that struggle with this and torture themselves and their family by being on the fence. That is, wanting to occasionally sleep with someone else, yet because they're consumed with guilt and worry, they wind up neither satisfying their urge nor satisfying their spouse. There spouses usually notice that they are detached, self absorbed and brooding without really knowing why they are so. Does that help a relationship?

Then there are those, usually men, who know that they will stray on occasion and know that resisting will be futile and will ultimately ruin their marriage or relationship. They are discreet, they dont do it often, but they satisfy themselves and dont get attached. As a result, in many cases this makes them happier and their relationship better. Does it always...of course not. Can it ruin a relationship as well...of course. But so can the alternative.

So to those who are "one women men," I salute you. That is certainly admirable and much more difficult than yielding to temptation. But everyone's reality is different...